I have this philosophy that I use to "check my self". Look at your surroundings and see what they are telling you. I really want to pass this on to Lily because I find it a great character trait to have. Lily has my skill and love of organizing. She has already proven to be a better athlete. Now I am on the mission to teach her to check herself.
Lily has a sensory processing disorder. I don't go around with this on my shirt or put it on hers. I let most of people we know just think she's a little quirky in her behavior. She doesn't get away with more than other kids...she's a pretty good kid. Her attributes outshine her struggles. BUT reading her own or other peoples emotions isn't her forte. It may be something she's great at tomorrow or in five years so I will still try to teach her.
Like when you are standing at the top of the stairs and you are holding a cat and it begins to try to get out of your arms....I might think "heh this cat wants to get down...I will bend down and set it on the ground". If you are Lily you think, well I don't know how her brain works but the cat went flying down the stairs.
Another great example: she was a pleasant child tonight,excited for her birthday (which is tomorrow) until.....615 came tonight. From 615 until 6:50 she was unglued. By unglued I mean she was unable to sit, stand, lay down, be quiet hold still or even breath correctly (seriously).
She was tired.
I really should count my blessings that this doesn't happen every night or doesn't last long. I've have been around kids that it goes on forever. I used to babysit a kid that did this for two hours every night.
What works....hugging her. Now before the uneducated people say....don't coddle her. Some children (and adults) with SPD need to be held tight to calm down. Some of the therapy in facilities have heavy blankets that the kids wrap themselves in or one that Lily really like is being rolled up in gym mats. It doesn't take long 30 seconds to 2 minutes and she is like a different child. Apologizes and moves on. Then apologizes again at bedtime. Then apologizes again the next morning.
My goal in teaching her this philosophy is for her to read her actions and say, "heh...I'm not doing so hot so I am going to hang out in my room for a few minutes" then I will reward her for her good choice. Wish me luck. I'm going to try it my way....not going to google how to teach this, not going to read any books...just going to wing it. I'll let you know how it works. Going to the whole "mothers instinct a whirl.
Two things you should learn about the above post:
1. Hugging works. We give hugs to say hello. We give hugs to say goodbye. We give hugs to say I am sorry. We give hugs to comfort. We should also give hugs to calm down a child because what is going through their head is different then what is going through ours.
2. Don't throw a cat down the stairs. Even though I am not a cat lover...I am pretty sure it isn't a good thing to do.
Tomorrow will be an exciting new post. Lily's birthday. She'll be six. I don't want to make every blog about her but tomorrow is about her. Now go hug someone.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Michaels
Who ever is in development of floor plans at Michaels is a genius. I mean like they run mensa. I can go through Target and Walmart and not believe that I "need" anything that isn't a regulary purchased item in my house. Michaels is another story. The store is arranged in such a fantastic way it is as if the merchandise builds your artistic confidence from the moment you walk in. They put crafts that two year olds can accomplish independently as soon as your walk in. You round that first corner and it is like...hmmm...I could make a necklace, chocolate lollipops, mosaic garden tile, paint a bird house and then you round to the back of the store and my confidence depletes quickly. What the heck is half of that stuff. Obviously it is stuff that bored people come and get (being caddy makes me feel better about myself). I mean why wouldn't you buy the kit that is all put together at the front of the store. The consumers of the stuff in the back are not members of mensa.
Today I went to Michaels with Lily (she's going to be six on Tuesday...yikes). Lily is a great shopper. She believes I can do all the crafts in the store. She is so encouraging. She always tells me she will help me. The developer of floor plans was also smart to put $1 bins all around the store full of wonderful kid products. So when you round every corner your child can see something that not only do they think they need....you also think so and maybe one in every color. Fortunately for the size of my wallet I can say no and she understands Santa will get it for her next Christmas. Yes, another lie I tell my child all the time. If she really wanted/needed the item she would be mad at Santa and she still loves him.
So today's trip. The store experience was a blur. I was caught up in it all. The hearts for valentines. The huge shamrocks for the yard. The fabric Easter baskets. Gotta have it all. I didn't though. Now I am home with two bags. One bag had to be salvaged as a puke bag on the car ride home so truthfully I came out of the store with three bags.
So what did I end up with. A kit to do chocolate lollipops for Lily's class birthday celebration. I've got to remember to check the chocolate bags for possible peanut products...woopsies. Valentines for Lily to construct for her classmates. A new magnetic notepad for the fridge. That about ends it with the logical items.
Here is the list of I didn't need this crap: a roll of ribbon, a 2012 calender that kids color, 12 fluffy pink chicks, pink, blue, yellow and green hair extensions, two books for Lily and a pair of socks for Lily. I am going to make use of these items and post the pictures. Wish me luck. I wish you luck on your next trip into Michaels.
If anyone who works at Michaels is reading this, I am sorry and click the red x in the upper right corner.
If anyone is the type that buys all that stuff in the back of the store that isn't in kits or have real directions......*%&&^#%& and the click the red x in the corner, then click shut down on the computer.
Today I went to Michaels with Lily (she's going to be six on Tuesday...yikes). Lily is a great shopper. She believes I can do all the crafts in the store. She is so encouraging. She always tells me she will help me. The developer of floor plans was also smart to put $1 bins all around the store full of wonderful kid products. So when you round every corner your child can see something that not only do they think they need....you also think so and maybe one in every color. Fortunately for the size of my wallet I can say no and she understands Santa will get it for her next Christmas. Yes, another lie I tell my child all the time. If she really wanted/needed the item she would be mad at Santa and she still loves him.
So today's trip. The store experience was a blur. I was caught up in it all. The hearts for valentines. The huge shamrocks for the yard. The fabric Easter baskets. Gotta have it all. I didn't though. Now I am home with two bags. One bag had to be salvaged as a puke bag on the car ride home so truthfully I came out of the store with three bags.
So what did I end up with. A kit to do chocolate lollipops for Lily's class birthday celebration. I've got to remember to check the chocolate bags for possible peanut products...woopsies. Valentines for Lily to construct for her classmates. A new magnetic notepad for the fridge. That about ends it with the logical items.
Here is the list of I didn't need this crap: a roll of ribbon, a 2012 calender that kids color, 12 fluffy pink chicks, pink, blue, yellow and green hair extensions, two books for Lily and a pair of socks for Lily. I am going to make use of these items and post the pictures. Wish me luck. I wish you luck on your next trip into Michaels.
If anyone who works at Michaels is reading this, I am sorry and click the red x in the upper right corner.
If anyone is the type that buys all that stuff in the back of the store that isn't in kits or have real directions......*%&&^#%& and the click the red x in the corner, then click shut down on the computer.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Need to go to sleep
Before I can go to sleep I need to get one more thing out of my head. If you live or drive in Rhode Island I would like to throw out a new device:
The stick that comes out of the left side of your steering wheel is a turn signal. It lets cars behind you know which way you are turning. You can use it. It doesn't make loud sounds, it has a soothing tick. It won't give you an electrical shock either. I am not going to google what the proper distance is to turn it on to let the ones behind know you are to turn, just use common sense. If there are two lanes and the car behind would have time to get in the other lane so they aren't stuck behind you...that would be a swell time to use it. Also my car is four years old and I've never had to pay any money to keep it working. I imagine a spark plug will have to be replaced in the future but those are only a few dollars. Also, I use my turn signal so often and guess what....it has never broken off!
See I not only love my daughter as every parent does, I love every second I can spend with her. Like I actually enjoy it. Even when she is wild and tired. So when I am on the road on the way to get her every minute counts. I don't want to sit behind someone who couldn't use their turn signal for two minutes until they can get the red light and turn. That is two more minutes I could have gotten hugs or heard about her day.
I have thought about taking a day off of work standing on the roads that people turn onto (that keep me waiting). I could hold up big signs that state "use your turn signal next time" or "don't be so selfish". This thought has happened more than once and has been recurring since I've moved to Rhode Island.
There are lots of things I love about Rhode Island. Stay tuned. Not tonight though...I know have a clear head and can go to sleep.
The stick that comes out of the left side of your steering wheel is a turn signal. It lets cars behind you know which way you are turning. You can use it. It doesn't make loud sounds, it has a soothing tick. It won't give you an electrical shock either. I am not going to google what the proper distance is to turn it on to let the ones behind know you are to turn, just use common sense. If there are two lanes and the car behind would have time to get in the other lane so they aren't stuck behind you...that would be a swell time to use it. Also my car is four years old and I've never had to pay any money to keep it working. I imagine a spark plug will have to be replaced in the future but those are only a few dollars. Also, I use my turn signal so often and guess what....it has never broken off!
See I not only love my daughter as every parent does, I love every second I can spend with her. Like I actually enjoy it. Even when she is wild and tired. So when I am on the road on the way to get her every minute counts. I don't want to sit behind someone who couldn't use their turn signal for two minutes until they can get the red light and turn. That is two more minutes I could have gotten hugs or heard about her day.
I have thought about taking a day off of work standing on the roads that people turn onto (that keep me waiting). I could hold up big signs that state "use your turn signal next time" or "don't be so selfish". This thought has happened more than once and has been recurring since I've moved to Rhode Island.
There are lots of things I love about Rhode Island. Stay tuned. Not tonight though...I know have a clear head and can go to sleep.
Lies I've told my daughter recently
1. Yes you can bring your stuffies to heaven.
2. Toys r us is all out of that toy
3. There are no coyotes in Rhode Island
4. Your principal sent me a note stating you can't have a boyfriend in Kindergarten
They got me through the moment. I always try to answer what she is asking not what I think she is asking but after answering it ten different ways. I went for it, lied. I figure these are harmless lies.
I know there are coyote dens in Roger Williams Park because my dog has rolled in their #2 but the chance in the next few years that she'll find one of their dens....worth the lie in comparison to the tears.
Lily is obsessed with death. It isn't a stage. Unless stages last a year. I am not going to get a book on how to talk to your kid about death...that cost money. Lily is almost six and at that age you should still believe that heaven is what ever you imagine. Not that I'd buy the book but no one has published a book (or blog) about what you can't and can bring to heaven. I wasn't even lying, this blog is making me feel better already
I don't believe in sugar coating things for Lily but she doesn't take "I don't know" as an answer. If I had more time we'd go to the library and look up the answers to each of her questions. Besides using the simple lie technique I also use the distraction technique. Very useful sometimes. For a bad distraction technique example, here is a conversation we had last weekend:
Lily "Mom how does the car move"
Me "so many things; tires, and the engine"
Lily "what about gas"
Me "yes and gas"
Lily "where is the gas from"
Me "the gas store"
Lily "where do they get it"
Me "a truck"
Lily "where does that truck get it and what is in gas that makes it move the car"
Me "oh my goodness did I tell you we are going to disney this year"
Lily "I'll just ask my teacher"
This weekend we will find time to study gas. I have no interest in it. It is going to be painful. I will no doubt be a gasologist after our research. Hopefully this all happens before she asks me how the picture she gets into the TV because I still think it is magic.
FYI: I am not using correct grammar because I don't have to. I know all the rules but don't want to make you feel like you are reading a college term paper.
2. Toys r us is all out of that toy
3. There are no coyotes in Rhode Island
4. Your principal sent me a note stating you can't have a boyfriend in Kindergarten
They got me through the moment. I always try to answer what she is asking not what I think she is asking but after answering it ten different ways. I went for it, lied. I figure these are harmless lies.
I know there are coyote dens in Roger Williams Park because my dog has rolled in their #2 but the chance in the next few years that she'll find one of their dens....worth the lie in comparison to the tears.
Lily is obsessed with death. It isn't a stage. Unless stages last a year. I am not going to get a book on how to talk to your kid about death...that cost money. Lily is almost six and at that age you should still believe that heaven is what ever you imagine. Not that I'd buy the book but no one has published a book (or blog) about what you can't and can bring to heaven. I wasn't even lying, this blog is making me feel better already
I don't believe in sugar coating things for Lily but she doesn't take "I don't know" as an answer. If I had more time we'd go to the library and look up the answers to each of her questions. Besides using the simple lie technique I also use the distraction technique. Very useful sometimes. For a bad distraction technique example, here is a conversation we had last weekend:
Lily "Mom how does the car move"
Me "so many things; tires, and the engine"
Lily "what about gas"
Me "yes and gas"
Lily "where is the gas from"
Me "the gas store"
Lily "where do they get it"
Me "a truck"
Lily "where does that truck get it and what is in gas that makes it move the car"
Me "oh my goodness did I tell you we are going to disney this year"
Lily "I'll just ask my teacher"
This weekend we will find time to study gas. I have no interest in it. It is going to be painful. I will no doubt be a gasologist after our research. Hopefully this all happens before she asks me how the picture she gets into the TV because I still think it is magic.
FYI: I am not using correct grammar because I don't have to. I know all the rules but don't want to make you feel like you are reading a college term paper.
Instructions for reading this blog
Purpose: This blog is for me to write things that I feel are crazy great or crazy bad and then it is for you to either laugh at me, know exactly how I feel or roll your eyes. Feel free to comment back.
Reason the name, "in my head": because these thoughts are in my head and need to come out and if they stay in there too long they get exaggerated.
Thought to keep in mind when reading: What is my terrible or great maybe very different compared to happenings in your life. That is why the blog is "in my head".
Enjoy.
Reason the name, "in my head": because these thoughts are in my head and need to come out and if they stay in there too long they get exaggerated.
Thought to keep in mind when reading: What is my terrible or great maybe very different compared to happenings in your life. That is why the blog is "in my head".
Enjoy.
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